Couples in crisis

The word couple, originally, was a feminine term, which designated a link to attach
two animals or similar things together, or two hunting dogs. We mentioned, by
example, “a couple for three horses”. The Latin etymology, copula (link, attachment), comes
it also highlights the essential meaning of this word designating the union of two
people since the dawn of time: the link.

Despite everything, this being together remains familiar and strange at the same time. We navigate by sight, taken
between the comfort of a shared routine and the mystery of desire, fragile like a flame
which we must constantly stir up. After the first stages of the romantic encounter,
comfort and stability compete with the desire for novelty and excitement, the desire for fusion
gives way to the need for space of one's own.

Nowadays, at a time when the model of heteronormative monogamy is being reconsidered
question and where other alternatives flourish, the injunction of La Fontaine in his fable of
two pigeons seems obsolete to us:

“Lovers, happy lovers, do you want to travel?
            Whether on the next banks;
Be to each other a world always beautiful,
            Always diverse, always new;
Take the place of everything, count the rest for nothing. »

However, his wisdom has no age: because what is essential in a couple, whatever
sexual horizons or genders with which partners identify, it is to maintain and
heal the bond that unites them. Remain free while being deeply attached. Feel in
security without however taking this attachment for granted. Stay connected and
emotionally close despite the dramas and difficulties of life, the fears, the
wounds and ghosts from the past. This is a real challenge, but it is also the
source of precious and inexhaustible wealth when we reach this understanding
deep.

All couples go through periods of tension. Fatigue, daily stress and
hard blows in life, a move, the isolation linked to an expatriation, the frustration and
dissatisfaction, the arrival of a child or a strong desire for something new calling into question
the system on which a couple had relied and causing suffering in one of the
partners: all these elements can contribute to creating distance, conflicts,
incomprehension and resentment within a couple. The link becomes damaged, injured, worn out,
and can end up breaking down.

Undertaking couples therapy can help you resolve conflicts and understand
then reconnect with the deep emotions that flow through you. The device of the
Couples therapy allows you to speak with and face to an impartial third person,
devoid of judgment and equipped with caring and empathetic listening skills. So you
manage to better dialogue and explore your own emotions, as well as those of your
partner and those that circulate between you, in your relationship. In some cases, if the
separation turns out to be inevitable, couples therapy helps you initiate the
process with more serenity, by maintaining an essential dialogue between you to
be able to mourn, reorganize the family structure and the education of children, or
yet rebuild another strong relationship.